Sweep: Book Of Shadows
by LilSis0401
Summary: Something is happening to me that i don't understand. I see things, feel things in a new way. I can do things normal people can't do. Powerful things. Magickal things. It scares me. Spashley
1. Chapter 1

**Suddenly Ashley pushed herself off the bench she'd been leaning against and came to stand in front of me. "What do I have behind my back?" She asked. **

**My brow creased for a second, then I said, "An apple. Green and red." It was as if i had seen it in her hand.**

**She smiled, and her expressive, chocolate-colored eyes crinkled at the edges. She brought her hand from around her back and handed me a hard, greenish red apple, with a leaf still attached to its stem.**

**Feeling awkward and shy, aware of everyone's eyes on me, I took the apple and bit it, hoping the juice wouldn't run down my chin.**

**"Good Guess," Raven said, sounding irritated. It occurred to me that she was probably jonesing for Ashley big time.**

**"It wasn't a guess," Ashley said softly, her eyes on mine**


	2. Ashley Davies

**_"Beware the mage, and bid him well, for he has powers beyond your ken."_**

_Years from now I'll look back and remember today as the day i met _her. _I'll look back and remember the exact moment my life began to include him. I will remember it forever._

I wore a green tie-dye T-shirt and jeans. My best friend, Debby Warren, arrived in a peasant shirt and a long black skirt down to her violet toenails, and of course she looked beautiful and sophisticated.

"Hey Junior," she greeted me with a hug, even though I'd just seen her the day before

"See you in AP calc," I told Janice Yutoh, and met Debbie halfway down the front steps. "Hey," I said back. "It's hot. It's supposed to be crisp on the first day of school." It wasn't even eight thirty, but the early September sun was burning whitely, and the air felt muggy and still. Despite the weather I felt excited, expectant: A whole new year was starting, and we were finally upperclassmen.

"Mabe in the Yukon Territory," Debbie suggested. "You look great."

"Thanks," I said, appreciating her diplomacy. "You too."

Debbie looks like a model. She's tall, five-nine, and has a figure most girls would starve themselves for, except Debbie eats everything and thinks dieting is for lemmings. She has minky dark hair that she ussually gets styled in Manhattan, so it falls in perfectly tousled waves to the base of her neck. Where we go, people turn there heads to look at her.

The thing about Debbie is that she knows she's gorgeous, and she enjoys it. She doesn't shrug off compliments, or complain about her looks, or pretend she doesn't know what people are talking about. But she isn't exacttly concieted either. She just accepts what she looks like and thinks its cool.

Debbie glanced over my shoulder at Widow's Vale High. Its redbrick walls and tall palladian windows betrayed its former incarnation as our town courthouse. "They didn't paint the woodwork," she said. "Again."

"Nope. Oh my God, look at Raven Meltzer," I said. "She got a tattoo."

Raven's a senior and the wildest girl in our school. She has dyed black hair, seven body piercings (that I can see, anyway), and now a circle of flames tattooed around her belly buttong. She's amazing to look at, at least for me-Ordinary Girl, with my long, all one length, blond hair. I have blue eyes and a nose that could kindly be described as "strong." Last year I grew four inches, so im five-sic now. I have broad shoulders and no hips and am still waiting for the breast fairy to show up.

Raven headed to the side of the cafeteria building where the stoners hung out.

"Her mom must be so proud," I said catily, but inside I admired her daring. What would it be like to care so little about what other people thought of you?

"I wonder what happens to her nose stud when she sneezes?" asked Debbie, and I giggled.

Raven nodded to Ethan Sharp, who already looked wasted at eight-thirty in the morning. Chip Newton, who's absolutely brilliant in math, way better than me, and our school's most reliable dealer, gave Raven a soul handshake. Aiden Dennison, my best friend after Debbie, looked up and smiled at her.

"God, it's so weird to see Mary K. here," said Debbie, glancing around and running her fingers through her wind-tossed hair.

"Yeah. She'll fit right in," I said. My younger sister, Mary Kathleen, was headed toward the main building, laughing with a couple of her friends. Next to most of the freshman, Mary K. looked mature and together, with grown-up curves. Stuff just comes easily to Mary K.-her hip but not-too-hip clothes, her naturally pretty face, her good but not perfect grades, her wide circle of friends. She's a genuinly nice person, and everyone adores her, even me. You can't help it with Mary K.

"Hey baby," said Chris Holly loudly, coming up to Debbie. "Hey, Spencer," he said to me. Chris leaned down and gave Debbie a quick kiss, which she caught on her lips.

"Hey Chris," I said. "Ready for school?"

"Now I am," he said, giving Debbie a lustful smile.

"Debbie! Chris!" Madison Duarte waved, gold bangles clinking on her wrist.

Chris grabbed Debbie's hand and pulled her toward Madison and the other usuals: Sherry Ruiz, Matt Adler, Justin Bartlett.

"Coming?" Debbie asked, falling behind.

I made a wary face. "No thank you."

"Spencer, they like you fine," Debbie said under her breath, reading my mind as she often did. She'd dropped Chris's hand, waiting for me while he went on ahead.

"It's okay. I need to talk to Tamara, anyway." Debbie knew I didn't feel comfortable with her clique.

She paused another moment. "Okay, see you in homeroom."

"See ya."

Debbie began to turn away but stopped, her mouth dropping open like someone in Acting 101 doing "dumbstruck." I turned and followed her gaze and saw a girl coming up the steps to our school.

It was like in a movie when everything goes into soft focus, everyone becomes silent, and time slows down while you figure out what you're looking at. It was just like that watching Ashley Davies come up the broad, worn front steps of our school.

I didn't know then that she was Ashley Davies, of course.

Debbie turned back toward me, her eyes wide. "Who is _that?" _she mouthed.

I shook my head. Without thinking, i put my palm to my chest to slow my heartbeat.

The girl walked up to us with a calm confidence i envied. I was aware of heads turning. She smiled at us. It was like the sun coming out of the clouds. "Is this the way to the vice principal's office?" she asked.

I've seen good-looking girls beofre. Raven, as i said before, is really good-looking. But this girl..._breathtaking._ Silky brown hair with red bangs looked as if she paid a cleberity hairstylist styled it themselves. She had a perfect nose, beautiful tan skin, and riveting, ageless, chocolate-colored eyes. It took me a second to realize she was speaking to us.

I gazed at her stupidly, but Debbie sparkled. "Right through there and to the left," she said pointing to the nearest door. "It's unusual to transfer as a senior, isn't it?" she asked, studying the piece of paper she held out to her.

"Yeah, the girl said. She gave a half smile. "I'm Ashley, Ashley Davies. My mom and I just moved here."

"I'm Debbie Warren," Debbie gestured to me. "And this is Spencer Carlin."

I didn't move. I blinked a couple of times and tried to smile. "Hi," I finally said in a nearr whisper, feeling like a five-year-old. I'm never good at talking to new people, especially ones as attractive as her, and this time i felt so overwhelemed and shy that i couldn't function at all. I felt like i was trying to stand up in a gale.

"Are you seniors?" Ashley asked.

"Juiors," Debbie said apologetically.

"Too bad," Ashley said. "We won't have classes together."

"Actually you might have some with Spencer," Debbie said with a cute, self-depreciating laugh. "She's taking senior math and science."

"Cool," Ashley said, smiling at me. "I better check in. Nice meeting you. Thanks for your help." She turned and strode to the door.

"Bye!" Debbie said brightly

As soon as Ashley passed through the wooden doors into the school building Debbie grabbed my arm. "Spencer, that girl is a godess!" she squealed. "She's going to school here! She'll be here all year!"

The next moment found us surrounded by Debbie's friends.

"Who is she?" Madison asked eagerly, her dark hair brushing her shoulders. Suzanne Herbert jostled her, trying to get closer to Debbie.

"Is she going to school here?" Nell Norton asked.

"Is she straight" Justin Barlett wondered aloud. He had a right to ask though. Half of the girls in our school were gay or bi or bi curious. It was easy on the girls, not so easy on the guys.

I glanced at Chris. He was frowning. As Debbie's friends reviewed the meager info, i stepped back, out of the crowd. I drited to the entrance and put my hand on the heavy brass handle, swearing i could still fell the warmth from Ashley's touch.

* * *

A week passed. As usual, I felt a tingle in my chest as I walked into physics class and saw Ashley there. She still looked like a miracle sitting in a dinged-up wooden desk. A godess in a mortal place. Today she was focusing her beam on Alessandra Spotford. "It's like a harvest festival?" Up in Kinderhook?" I heard Ashley asking her.

Alessandra smiled and looked flustered. "It's not till October," she explained. "We get our pumpkins there every year." She tucked a curl behind her ear.

I sat down and opened my notebook. In one week Ashley had become the most popular girl at my school. Forget popular; she was a celebrity. Even a lot of the guys liked her. Not Chris Holly or any other guy or girl whose boyfriend or girlfriend was salivating over Ashley, but most of the others

"What about you, Spencer?" Ashley asked, turning to me. "Have you been to the harvest festival?"

Casually i flipped to the current chapter in our textbook and nodded, feeling a rush of giddiness at hearing her say my name. "Pretty much everyone goes. Theres not a lot else to do around here unless you go down to New York City, and that's two hours away."

Ashley had spoken to me several times over the past week, and each time it had gotten a little easier for me to reply to her. We had physics and calculus together everyday.

She turned in her desk to face me fully, and i permitted myself a quick glance at him. I don't always trust myself to do this. Not if I want my vocal cords to work. My throat tightened right on schedule.

What was it about Ashley that made me feel like this? Well, she was gorgeous, for one obvious thing. But it was more than that. she was different than the other girls I knew. When she looked at me, she really looked at me. She wasn't glancing around the room, chckiing for her friends, or trolling for prettier girls, we all found out she was a lesbian the first day of school, or sneaking quick glances at my breasts--not that i have any. She wasn't self-conscious at all, and she wasn't keeping score socially the way everybody else does. She seemed to look at me or Tamara, who had advanced classes, too, with the same frank intensity and interest that she looked at Alessandra or Debbie or one of the other local godesses.

"So what do you do for fun the rest of the time?" she asked me.

I looked back down at my textbook. I wasn't used to this. Good-looking girls usually only talked to me when they wanted a homework assignment.

"I don't know," I said mildly. "Hnag out. Talk to friends. Go to movies."

"What kind of movies do you like?" she leaned forward as if I were the most interesting person in the world and there was no one she would rather be talking to. Her eyes never left my face.

I hesitated feeling awkward and tongue-tied. "Anything. I like all kinds of movies."

"Really? Me too. You'll have to tell me which theatres to go to. I'm still learning my way around."

Before i could agree or disagree, she smiled at me and turned to face the front of the room as Dr. Gonzalez walked in, thumped his heavy briefcase on his desk, and began to call roll.

I wasn't the only person Ashley was charming. She seemed to like everbody. She talked to everyone, sat by different people, didn't show favorites. I knew that at least four of Debbie's friends were dying t go out with her, but I hadn't heard of any siccess so far. I did know that Justin Bartlett had struck out.


	3. I Wish

**"Beware the witch, **

**for she will bind you with black magic, **

**making you forget your home, **

**your loved ones,**

**yea,**

**even your own face."**

"You have to admit she's good-looking," Debbie pressed, leaning against my kitchen counter.

"Of course I admit it. I'm not blind" I said, busily opening cans. It was my night to make dinner. The washed, cut-up chicken was sitting naked in a large Pyrex dish. I dumped out a can of cream of artichoke soup, a cn of cream of celery soup, and a jar of marinated artichoke hearts. Voila: dinner.

"But she seems like kind of a player," I continued mildly. "I mean; how many people has she gone out with in the last two weeks?"

"Three," said Tamara Pritchett, unfoilding her long, skinny frame onto the bench in our breakfast nook. It was Monday afternoon, the beginning of the third week of school. I could saely say that Ashley Davies arival in the sleepy town of Widows Vale was the most exciting thing that had happened since the millhouse theatre had burned to the ground two years ago. "Spencer, what _is_ that?"

"Chicken Morgan," I said. "Delicious and nutritious." I reached into the fridge for a Diet Coke and popped the .

"Toss me one of those," Aiden said, and I got him one.

"How come when a guy dates a lot, he's a player, but if a girl does, she's just picky?"

"That is so not true," Debbie protested.

"Hello girls and Aiden," My dad said, wandering into the kitchen. He was wearing his usual uniform: khaki pants; a button-down shirt, short sleeve because of the weather; and a white t-shirt underneath it. In the winter he wears the same thing escept with a long-sleeved shirt and a knit sweater vest over it all.

"Hey Mr. C.," Aiden said.

"Hi, Mr. Carlin," Tamara said, and Debbie waved.

Dad glanced around distractedly, as if to make sure that this was really his kitchen. With a smile at us he wandered out again. Debbie and I shared a grin. We knew that soon he'd remember what he had come in to get, and he's return for it. He works in research and development at IBM, and they think he's a genius. Around our house, he's ,ore like a slow kindergartner. He can't keep his shoes tied, and he has no concept of time.

I stirred the mixture in the glass pan and covered it with foil. Then I grabbed four potatoes and scrubbed them in the sink.

"I'm glad my mom cooks," Tamara said. "Anyway, Ashley has gone out with Madison Duarte, Raven Meltzer, and Janice." she ticked off the names on her fingers.

"Janice Yutoh?" I squealed, putting the dish in the oven. "She didn't even tell me about it!" I frowned and add the potatoes. "God, she sure doesn't have a type does she? It's like one from column A, one from column B, and one from column C."

"That dog," Aiden said, pushing his glasses up on his nose.

Aiden was such a close friend, I hardly noticed it anymore, but he had terrible acne. He had been supercute until seventh grade, which made it all the more hard for him.

Debbie wrinkled her forehead. "The Janice Yutoh thing I can't figure out. unless she was helping her with his homework."

"Janice is actually really pretty," I said. "She's just so shy, you don't notice it. _I _can't figure out Madison Duarte."

Debbie almost chked. "Madison is gorgeous! She modeled for Hawaiian Tropic last year!"

I smiled at Debbie. "She looks like Malibu Barbie, and she's got the brain to match." I ducked as Debbie tossed a grap at me.

"Not everyone can be a National Merit Scholar," she said snippily. She paused and then said, "I guess none of us are wondering about Raven. She goes through guys like Kleenex."

"Oh, and _you_ don't," I teased her, and was rewarded by another grpe bouncing off my arm.

"Hey, Chris and I have been together for almost three months now," Debbie said.

"And?" Aiden prompted her.

Self-righteousness mixed with rueful embarrassment crossed Debbie's face. "He's bugging me a little," she admitted.

Tam and I laughed, and Aiden snorted.

"I gues your just picky," Aiden said.

My dad wondered into the kitchen again, got a pen from the pen jar, and headed out again.

"Okay," Debbie said, opening the back door. "I better get home before Chris freaks out." she made a face. "Where have you _been_?" she said in a deep-voiced imitation. She rolled her eys and left, and moment later we heard her tempermental BMW, Breezy, take off and chug down the street.

"Poor Chris," Tamara said. Her curly brown hair was escaping from her headband, and she expertly twisted it back underneath.

"I think his days are numbered," Aiden said, taking a sip of soda.

I pulled out a bag of salad and ripped it open with my teeth. "Well, he lasted longer than usual."

Tam nodded. "It might be a record."

The back door flew open and my mom staggered in, her arms full of flyers, and real estae signs. Her jacket was wrinckled, and it had a coffee stain on one pocket. I grabbed the stuff from her hands and set it on the kitchen table.

"Mary, mother of God," my mom muttered. "What a day. Hi Tamara, honey. Hey, Aiden. How have you two been? How's school so far?"

"Fine, thanks Mrs. Carlin," Aiden said.

"How about you?" Tamara asked. "You look like you've been working hard."

"You could say that," my mom said with a sigh. She hung her jacket on a hook by the door and headed to the cabinet to fix herself a whiskey sour from a mix.

"Well, we better head out," Tamara announced, picking up her backpack. She kicked Aiden's sneaker gently. "Come on, I'll give you a ride. Nice seeing you, Mrs. Carlin."

"See you later." Aiden added.

Bye, guys," my mom said, and the back door closed behinf them. "Gos, Aiden's getting tall. He's really growing into himself." She came over to give me a hug. "Hi, sweetheart. It smells great in here. Is it chicken Morgan?"

"Yep. With baked potatoes and frozen peas."

"Sounds perfect." She grank from her glass, which smelled sweet and citrusy.

"Tiny sip?" I asked.

"No ma'am!" Mom replied, as she always did. "Let me change, and I'll set the table. Is Mary K. here?"

I nodded. "Upstairs with some of the Mary K. fan club."

Mom frowned. "Boys or girls?"

"I think both."

Mom nodded and headed upstairs, and I knew that the boys, at least, were about to get the boot.

* * *

"Hi. Can I sit here?" Janice asked at lunch period the next day, pointing to an empty spot on the grass of the school's courtyard next to Tamara.

"Of course," Tamara said, waving a handful of Fritos. "We'll be even more multiculti." Tamara was one fo the very few African Americans in our overwhelming white school, and she wasn't afraid to joke aout it, particularily with Janice, who was sometimes self-conscious anout being one of very few Asians.

Janice sat down cross-legged with her tray balanced on her lap.

"Excuse me," I said pointedly. "Is there any interesting...news you'd like to share?"

Confusion crossed Janice's face as she chewed the schools versionof meat loaf and swallowed. "What? You mean from class?"

"No," I said impatiently. "Romantic news." I raised my eyebrows.

Janice's pretty face turned pink. "Oh. You mean Ashley?"

"Of course I mean Ashley!" I pratically exploded. "I can't believe you didn't say anything."

Janice shrugged. "We just went out once," she said. "Last weekend."

Tamara and i waited.

"Can you embelish please?" I pressed after a minute. "I mean, we're your friends. You went out with the single best looking girl on the planet. We deserve to know."

Janice looked pleased and embarrassed. "It didn't really seem like a date," she said finally. "It's more, like, she's trying to get to know people. Know the area. We drove around and talked a lot, and she wanted to know all about the town and the people..."

Tamara and I looked at each other.

"Hmmm," I said finally. "So you're not hooking up or anything?"

Tamara rolled her eyes. "Be blunt, wy don't you Spencer?"

Janice laughed. "It's fine," she said. "And no. No hooking up. I think we are just friends."

"Hmmm," I said again. "She _is _friendly, isnt'e she?"

"Speak of the devil," Tamara said sotly.

I looked up to see Ashley ambling toward us, her lips curved into a smile.

"Hey," she said, crouching on the grass next to us. "Am I interrupting something?"

I shook my head and drank my soda in an attempt to look casual.

"Are you getting settled in?" Tamra asked. "Widows Vale is pretty small, so it probabaly won't take you long to figure out where everything is."

Ashley smiled at her, and I blinked at her supernatural face. By now I expected to have this reaction when i was around her, so it didn't bother me as much.

"Yeah. It's pretty here," Ashley said. "Full of history. I feel like I've gone back in time." She looked down at a patch of grass, absently stroking a blade between his fingers. I tried not to stare, but I found myself wanting to touch what he touched.

"I came over to ask if you guys would come to a party this Staurday night," Ashley said.

We were all so surprised that we didn't say anything for a second. It seemed gutsy for a relative stranger to throw a party so soon.

"Carlin!" Debbie called from across the lawn, the came and sank down gracefully on the grass next to me. She gave Ashley a beautiful smile. "Hi, Ash."

"Hey. I've been going around inviting people to a party this Saturday," Ashley said.

"Aparty!" Debbie looked like this was the best idea she'd ever heard. "What kind of party? Where? Who's coming?"

Ashley laughed, leaning back her head so I could see the graceful column of her throat, with its smooth tna skin. In the vee of her shirt hung a worn leather string with a silver pendant dangling from it, a five pointed star surounded by a circle. I wondered what the symbol meant.

"If the weathers all right, it will be an outdoor party," Ashley said. "Mostly I just want to have a chance to talk to poeple, you know, not at school. I'm asking most of the juniors and seniors-"

"Really?" Debbie's lovely brows arched.

"Sure," Ashley said. "The more the merrier. I figured we couls meet up outside. The weather's been beautfiul lately, and there's this field right at the edge of town over past Tower's market, thought we could sit around and talk, look at the stars...."

We all stared at her. Kids hung out at the mall. Kids hung out at the movies. Kids even hung out at the 7-Eleven when things got really slow. But nobody ever hung out in the middle of an empty field out past Tower's market.

"This isn't the kind of thing you ussually do is it?" she asked.

"Not really," Debbie said carefully. "Bit it sounds great."

"Okay. well, I'll print up some directions. Hope you guys can come." He stood smoothly, gracefully, the way an animalrises.

_I wish she were mine._

I was shocked that my brain had formed the thought. I'd never felt that way about _anyone. _And Ashley Davies was so out of my league that wanting her seemed stupid, almost pathetic. I shook my head. This was pointless. I would just have to snap out of it.

When she was gone, my friends turned to one another excitedly.

"What kind of party is this?" Tamara wondered out loud.

"I wonder if there'll be a keg or something," Debbie asked looking half disapointed, half relieved.

The four of us watched as Ashley approached Debbie's other friends, who were hanging out on the benches at the edge of the school grounds. After talking to them, she headed to the stoners clustered by the doors to the cafeteria. The funny thing was, she looked just like each crowd she spoke to. When she was with the brains, like me and Tamara and Janice, she was totally believeable as a gorgeous, brilliant, deeply inquisitive scholar type. When she was with Debbie's friends, she looked cool casual, and hip: a trendsetter. And when she was standing next to Raven and Chip, I could totally imagine her as a stoner, smoking pot every day after school. It was amazing how comfortable she was with everyone.

On one level I envied it since I'm comfortable with onely a small group of people, my ggod friends. In fact, my two closest friends Debbie and Aiden, I've known since we were babies and our familes lived on the smae block. That was before Debbie;s family moved into a huge modern house with a view of the river and long before we'd split up into different cliques. Debbie and I were two of the only people at our school who managed to be close despite belonging to different groups.

Ashley was...universal, in a way. And even though I was nervous, I wanted to go to that party.


	4. The Circle

**"Roam not at night, **

**for sorcerers use all phases of the moon for their craft. **

**Be you safe at home till the sun lights the sky and drives evil to its lair again."**

__

**I am casting the net. Pray for my success, that I may increase our number and find those for whom I search.**

__

"What's wrong with Breezy?" I asked.

"She's making a weird pinging noise," Debbie said.

I rolled my eyes, hoping she could see me. Debbie's expensive, sensitive car was always doing one thing or another. So much for fancy engineering.

I opened the driver's side door and eased onto the cool vinyl seat of Das Boot, my beautiful white '71 Chrysler Valiant. My dad likes to joke that my car weighs more than a submarine, so we named it Das Boot, the German word for boat and the title of my dads all time favorite movie. Debbie climbed in the other side, and we waved good-bye to my dad, who was putting out the trash.

"Drive carefully, sweetheart," he called.

I started the engine and glanced out my window at the sky. The waning moon was a thin. Sharp crescent. A wisp of a dark cloud drifted across it, blotting it from the sky and making the stars pop into prominence.

"Are you going to tell to tell me where Chris is?" I asked as I turned onto Riverdale.

Debbie sighed. "I told him I'd promised to go with you," she said.

"Oh jeez, don't tell me," I groaned. "I'm afraid of driving by myself at night?; is that it?"

Debbie rubbed her forehead. "Sorry," she muttered. "He's gotten so possessive. Why do guys always do that? You go out with them for awhile, and suddenly they own you." She shivered, though it was barely chilly. "Turn right on Westwood."

Westwood headed right out of town, northward.

Debbie waved the piece of paper that had the directions. "I wonder what this will be like. Ashley is really…different, isn't she?"

"Uh-huh." I took a swig of seltzer, letting the conversation die. I was reluctant to talk to Debbie about Ashley, but I wasn't sure why.

"Okay, Okay!" Debbie said excitedly a few minutes later. "This is it! Stop here!" She was already scrambling out of her seat belt, grabbing her macramé purse.

"Debbie," I said politely, looking around. "We're in the middle of freaking _nowhere_."

Technically of course, you were always somewhere. But this deserted road on the outskirts of town didn't feel like it. To the left were acres of cornfields, tall and awaiting harvest. To the right was a wide strip of un-mowed field edged by thick woods that led back toward town in a large, ragged vee.

"It says to park under that tree," Debbie instructed me. "Come on."

I eased Das Boot off the side of the road and glided heavily to a stop beneath a huge willow oak tree. That was when I saw moonlight glinting off of seven other cars that hadn't been visible from the road.

Aiden's distinctive red VW Beetle sat glowing darkly like a giant ladybug under the tree, and I saw Matt Adler's white pick-up, Madison's SUV, and Tamara's dad's station wagon edged up neatly next to them. Parked in a sloppy circle around them were Raven Meltzer's battered black wreck, a gold explorer that I recognized as Ashley's, and a green mini-van I thought belonged to Beth Nielson, Raven's best friend. I didn't see any people, but there was a somewhat trampled path through the tall, dried grass towards the woods.

"I guess we're supposed to go there," Debbie said, sounding uncharacteristically unsure. I was glad she was here with me and that Chris wasn't. If I'd had to come by myself, I might not have had thee nerve to show.

We followed the path of beaten grass, the cool evening breeze filtering through my hair. When we reached the edge of the woods, Debbie pointed. I could barely make out the pale gleam of her finger in the forest darkness. Looking ahead, I saw it: a small clearing and shadowed shapes standing around a low fire ringed with stones. I heard low laughter and smelled the delicious scent of wood smoke coiling through the newly crisp air. Suddenly an outdoor party seemed like a brilliant idea.

We stepped carefully through the woods toward the fire. I heard Debbie swearing under her breath-her chunky platform sandals weren't the best shoes for nighttime hiking. My own clogs were cheerfully crunching twigs underfoot. I heard a crashing noise sound behind us and startled, then saw it was Ethan Sharp and Alessandra Spotford, lurching through the forest after us.

"Watch it!" Alessandra hissed at Ethan. "That branch hit me right in the eye."

Debbie and I emerged into the clearing. I saw Tamara and Aiden and even Ben Reggio From my Latin class. I went over to join the three of them as Debbie split off from me to stand by Madison, Suzanne, Jenna, and Matt. The firelight cast a soft golden glow on everyone's faces, making the girls look prettier than usual and the guys look older and mysterious.

"Where's Ashley?" Debbie asked, and Chris Holly straightened up from where he was crouched by an ice chest, a beer in his hand.

"Why do you want to know?" he said unpleasantly.

She ran her fingers through her hair. "She's our host."

Ashley appeared almost silently from the edge of the clearing. She was carrying a large wicker hamper, which she set down next to the fire. "Hi," she said, looking around at us smiling. "Thanks for coming. I hope the fire will keep you warm."

I pictured myself snuggling up to her, her arm around my shoulders, feeling the heat of her skin slowly seep through my fleece vest. I blinked quickly, and the image was gone.

"I brought some stuff to eat and drink," Ashley said, kneeling and opening her basket. "There's food in here-nuts, chips, corn bread. There's stuff to drink in the coolers."

"I should have brought some wine," Debbie said, and I blinked in surprise to see her standing right there. Ashley smiled at her, and I wondered if she thought Debbie was beautiful.

For the next half hour we hung out and talked, sitting around the fire, maybe twenty of us altogether. Ashley had brought some delicious apple cider spiced with cinnamon for people who didn't want beer, which included me.

Chris sat next to Debbie, his arm around her shoulders. She wasn't looking at him but sent me irritated glances from time to time. Tamara and Ben and I sat with our knees touching. One of my arms was almost too warm from the fire, the other was pleasantly chilly. From time to time Ashley's voice flowed over me like night air.

"I'm glad you all came tonight," Ashley said, coming over to kneel next to me. She spoke loud enough for everyone to hear. "My mom knew people here before we moved, so she has a bunch of friends already, but I thought I'd have to celebrate Mabon myself."

Debbie smiled and leaned forward. "What's Mabon?"

"Tonight is Mabon," Ashley said. "It's one of the Wiccan sabbats. Kind of important day if you practice Wicca. It's the autumnal equinox."

You could have heard a leaf land at the moment. We were all looking at him, his face golden and flame colored, like a mask. Nobody said anything.

Ashley seemed aware of our surprise, but she didn't look embarrassed or self-conscious. In fact, she plowed on. "See, usually on Mabon you have a special circle," Ashley continued, crunching into and apple. "You give thanks for the harvest. And after Mabon you start looking forward to Samhain."

"Sowen?" Jenna Ruiz said faintly.

"S-a-m-h-a-i-n," Ashley clarified. "Pronounced Sow-en. Our biggest holiday, the witches new year. October 31. Most people call it Halloween."

Silence, broken only by the crackling of the logs as they burned.

Chris was the first to speak. "So, what?" he said with a nervous laugh. "You saying you're a witch?"

"Well, yeah, actually. I practice a form of Wicca," Ashley said.

"Isn't that like devil worship?" Alessandra asked, wrinkling her nose.

"No, no. Not at all," Ashley responded in a way that wasn't the least bit defensive. "There is no devil in Wicca. It's about the tamest and most inclusive religion there is, truthfully. It's all about celebrating nature."

Alessandra looked skeptical.

"So anyway, I was hoping to find a few people to make a circle with me tonight."

Silence.

Ashley looked around, absorbing the surprise and discomfort in almost every face but showing no sign of regret. "Listen, it's not a big deal. Making a circle doesn't mean you're joining Wicca. It doesn't mean you're going against your religion or whatever. If you're not into it, don't worry about it. I just thought some people might think it's cool."

I looked at Tamara. Her dark brown eyes were wide. Debbie turned to me, and we shared a glance that communicated a whole conversation's worth of ideas. Yes, we were both surprised and a little skeptical, but we were both intrigued, too. Debbie's look told me she was interested, she wanted to hear more. I felt the same way.

"What do you mean, a circle?" It was a few seconds before I recognized the voice as my own.

"We all stand in a circle," explained Ashley, "and join hands, and we give thanks to the Goddess and the God for the harvest. We celebrate the fertility of the spring and summer and look forward to the barrenness of winter. And we walk in a circle."

"You're joking," Todd Ellsworth said, sipping his beer.

Ashley looked at him evenly. "No, I'm not. But if you're not into it, that's fine."

"Jesus, she's serious," Chris said to no one in particular.

Debbie deliberately shrugged his arm off her shoulders, and he scowled at her.

"Anyway," Ashley said, standing up. "It's almost ten. Anyone who wants to stay is welcome, but you're also welcome to leave. Thanks a lot for coming and hanging out, either way."

Raven stood up and walked over to Ashley, her dark, heavily outlined eyes on hers. "I'll stay." She turned a disdainful face to the rest of us, as if to say, "You wankers."

"I think I'm gonna go home," Tamara whispered to me and stood up.

"I'm going to stay for awhile," I said softly, and she nodded, waved good-bye to Ashley, and left.

"I'm outt'a here," said Chris loudly, throwing his beer bottle into the woods. He got to his feet. "Debbie? Come on."

"I came with Spencer," Debbie said, moving closer to me. "I'll go home with her."

"Come on with me now," Chris insisted.

"No, thanks," Debbie said, meeting my eyes. I gave her the slightest smile of encouragement.

Chris swore, then crashed off through the trees, muttering. I reached over and squeezed her arm.

I cast a glance at Ashley. She was sitting with her knees bent and her elbows resting on them. There seemed to be no tension in her body. She just watched.

Raven, Debbie, and I stayed. Ben Reggio left. Jenna stayed, so of course Matt stayed too. Aiden stayed: good. Beth Nielson stayed, and so did Madison Duarte and Ethan sharp. Alessandra hesitated but stayed, and so did Suzanne and Todd.

When it looked like everyone had left who was going to, there were thirteen of us standing there.

"Cool," Ashley said, standing. "Thanks for staying, Let's get started."

The porch light cast a shadow across our lawn. Before me, on the crunchy, dried-out autumn grass, a smaller, darker me walked to my car. 


	5. Banishing

**"They dance sky clad beneath the blood moon in their unholy rites, **

**and beware to any who bespy them, **

**for you will turn to stone where you stand."**

While we milled around uncertainly, Ashley took a stick and drew a large, perfect circle in the ground around the fire. Before she joined the two ends of the circle, she gestured us inside, then closed the circle as if she were shutting a door. I felt a bit like a sheep inside a pen.

Then Ashley took out a box of salt and sprinkled it around the drawn circle. "With this salt, I purify our circle," she said.

Debbie and I glanced at each other and smiled tentatively.

"Okay, now, lets join hands," Ashley said, holding out her hands. A wave of shy self-consciousness washed over me as I realized I was standing closest to her left hand. She reached for my hand and held it. Raven went to Ashley's other side, taking her right hand firmly.

Debbie was on my other side, then Jenna and Matt, Beth, made up the other side, and Aiden held Raven's other hand.

Ashley lifted my hand, and our arms were raised to the narrow patch of clear sky above us. "Thanks to the Goddess," Ashley said in a strong voice. She looked around the circle at the rest of us. "No you guys say it."

"Thanks to the Goddess," we said, though my voice was so low, I doubt I added anything, I wondered who the Goddess was.

"Thanks the God," Ashley said, and again we repeated it.

"Today day and night are balanced," Ashley continued. "Today the sun enters the sign of Libra, the balance."

Todd chuckled, and Ashley slanted his eyes at him.

I seemed to grow a billion extra nerve endings in my left hand. I tried not to think so much about whether I was holding Ashley's hand too tightly or loosely, whether my hand was clammy from nervousness.

"Today the dark begins to dominate light," Ashley said. Today is the autumn equinox. It's the time of harvest, when crops are gathered. We give thanks to the Earth Mother, who nourishes us." She looked around at the circle again. "Now you guys say 'blessed be.'"

"Blessed be," we said. I was praying my hand didn't all out start sweating in Ashley's. Her hand was smooth but strong, gripping mine firmly without hurting it. Did my hand feel pathetically limp in return?

"It's the time to gather the seeds," Ashley said in her calm voice. "We gather the seeds to renew our crops for next year. The cycle of life continues to nourish us." She looked around the circle. "Now we all say blessed be."

"Blessed be." we said.

"We give thanks to the God, who will sacrifice himself in order to be reborn again," Ashley said. I frowned, not liking the word sacrifice. She nodded at us.

"Blessed be." we said.

"Now let us breathe," Ashley said. She bowed her head and closed her eyes, and one by one we did the same.

I heard Suzanne draw in exaggerated-sounding breaths and opened my eyes a slit to see Todd smirking. Their reactions irritated me.

"Okay," Ashley continued, opening her eyes after a few minutes. She seemed either unaware of or was deliberately ignoring Todd and Suzanne. "Now we're going to do a banishing chant, so we'll move widdershins-that means counterclockwise. You'll catch on."

Ashley's body pushed me gently counterclockwise, and two seconds later we were all doing a Wiccan version of ring-around-a-rosy. Ashley chanted, over and over so that we learned it and could join in:

"Blessed be the Mother of All Things,

The Goddess of Life.

Blessed be the Father of All Things,

The God of Life.

Thanks be for all we have.

Thanks be for our new lives.

Blessed be."

It felt less weird after a couple of minutes, and soon I felt oddly exhilarated, practically running in a circle, holding hands under the moon. Debbie looked so happy and alive that I couldn't help smiling at her.

A while later-it could have been two minutes or a half hour-I noticed I was starting to feel dizzy and strange. I'm one of those people who can never go on merry-go-rounds, roller coasters that do inversions, or anything else that goes around in circles. It's an inner ear thing, but the bottom line is I throw up. So I was starting to feel kind of iffy but didn't feel like I could stop.

Just as I was wondering what we would be banishing, Ashley said, "Raven? What would you like to get rid of if you could? What do you banish?"

Raven smiled, and she looked almost pretty for a moment, like a regular girl. "I banish small minds!" she called gleeful.

"Jenna?" Ashley asked as we moved in our circle.

"I banish hatred," Jenna said after a pause.

She glanced at Matt. "I banish jealousy," he said.

Holding tightly to Ashley and Debbie's hands, I raced in a circle around the fire, someplace between running and dancing, simultaneously pushed and pulled. I began to feel like a sliver of soap at the bottom of the bathtub whirlpool, going around, and around, out of control. But I wasn't getting sucked toward the drain. Instead I was rising up through the ribbed circle of water, rising to the top, held in place by centrifugal force. I felt light-headed and weirdly happy.

"I banish anger," Aiden.

"I banish, like, school," Todd.

What an idiot, I thought.

"I banish plaid golf pants!" said Alessandra, and Suzanne giggled.

"I banish fat-free hot dogs," Suzanne contributed. I felt Ashley's hand tighten a bit around mine.

To my surprise Madison went next with, "I banish _stupidity_."

"I banish my stepmother!" Ethan yelled, laughing.

"I banish powerlessness," cried Beth.

Next to me Debbie shouted, "I banish fear!"

Was it my turn? I thought dizzily.

Ashley squeezed my hand hard. What was I afraid of? Right then, I couldn't remember any of my fears. I mean, I'm afraid of all kinds of things: failing tests, speaking in public, my parents dying, getting my period at school when I'm wearing white, but I couldn't think of how to phrase those fears to fit our banishment circle.

"Um," I said.

"Come on!" Raven cried, her voice tearing away, lost in the whirling circle.

"Come on," said Debbie, her eyes on me.

"Come on," Ashley whispered, as if she were enticing me into a private space with her alone.

"I banish limitations!" I blurted out, unsure where the words had sprung from or why they felt right.

Then it happened. As if obeying a director's cue, we threw our hands apart from one another, up in the air, and stopped were we stood. In the next instant I felt a piercing pain in my chest, as if my skin literally ripped open. I gasped clutching my chest, and stumbled.

"What's with _her_?" I heard Raven say as I sank to my knees, pressing hard in the center of my chest. I felt dizzy, sick, and embarrassed.

"Too much brew," Todd suggested.

Debbie's hand touched my shoulder. I sucked in breath and rose unsteadily to my feet. I was sweating and clammy, breathing hard, and felt like I was about to faint.

"Are you okay? What's the matter?" Debbie put her arm around me and shielded me with her body. Thankfully I leaned into her. A cloudy mist swam before my eyes, turning everything around me into a heat mirage. I blinked and swallowed, wanting childishly to cry. With each breath I took, the pain in my chest was lessening. I became aware that the members of the circle were gathered around me. I felt their gazes on me.

"I'm okay," I said, my voice low and raspy. Heat came off Debbie's tall, thin body in waves, and her blond hair was stuck to her forehead. My own hair hung around me in long, limp strands. Although I was sweating, I felt cold, chilled to the bone.

"Maybe I'm coming down with something," I said, trying to speak more strongly.

"Like witchitosis," Suzanne said sarcastically, her tanned face looking plastic in the moonlight.

I stood up straighter and realized the pain was almost gone. "I don't know what that was-a cramp or something." I broke away from Debbie and tried a shaky step. And that was when I noticed something was wrong with my eyes.

I blinked several times and looked up at the sky. Everything was brighter, as if the moon had blown into fullness, but it was still just a sharp-edged crescent, a cream-colored sickle in the sky. I glanced as the woods and felt drawn into them, as if into a 3-D photograph. I saw every pine needle, every acorn, and every fallen twig in sharp relief. I closed my eyes and realized I could hear each separate sound of the night: insects, animals, birds, my friends' breathing, the delicate swoosh of my blood moving through my veins. The drone of crickets splintered into a thousand pieces-the music of a thousand separate beings.

I blinked again looked at the faces around me, dim but utterly distinct in the firelight. Aiden and Debbie wore expressions of concern, but it was Ashley's face that held my eyes. Ashley was gazing at me intently, her chocolate eyes seeming to strip through my skin to the bones underneath.

Abruptly I sat down on the ground. The earth was slightly damp and covered with a thin layer of decaying leaves. The crunching sound was incredibly loud in my ears as I tucked my legs beneath me. Instantly I felt better, as if the ground itself were absorbing my shaky feelings. I looked deeply into the fire, and the timeless, eternal dance of colors I saw there was so beautiful, I wanted to cry.

Ashley's raspy voice floated toward me as clearly as a whisper in a tunnel, as if her words were meant for me alone, and they found me unerringly even as the group dissolved into talking.

She said the words under her breath, her gaze fixed on my face. "I banish loneliness."


	6. Headachy

** "A witch may be a man or a woman. **

**The feminine power is as fierce and terrifying as the masculine power, **

**and both are to be feared."**

**-There are Witches Among Us,**

**Susanna Gregg, 1917**

__

I saw something last night- a flash of power from an unexpected source. I can't wait to jump to conclusions-I've been looking and waiting and watching for too long to make a mistake. But in my gut I feel she's here. She's here, and she has her power. I need to get closer to her.

On Sunday morning I woke up feeling like my head was packed with wet sand. Mary K. stuck her head in my door.

"Better get up. Church."

My mom brushed past her into my room. "Get up, get up, you lazy pup," she said. She threw open my curtains, flooding my room with bright autumn sunlight that pierced my eyeballs and stung the back of my head.

"Ugh," I moaned, covering my face.

"Come on, we'll be late," said my mom. "Do you want waffles?"

I thought for a minute. "Sure."

"I'll put them in the toaster for you."

I sat up in bed, wondering if this was what a hangover felt like. It all came back to me, everything that had happened last night, and I felt a rush of excitement. Wicca. It had been strange and amazing. True, today I felt physically awful, foggy-headed and sore, but still, last night had been one of the most exciting times of my whole life. And Ashley. She was…incredible. Unusual.

I thought back to the moment when she looked at me so intensely. I thought at the time she'd been talking to me alone but I later realized she wasn't. Aiden had heard her banish loneliness, and Debbie had too. On the way home Debbie had wondered aloud how a girl like Ashley could possibly be lonely.

I swung my feet over to the chilly floor. It was really autumn, finally. My favorite time of the year. The air was crisp; the leaves change color; the heat and exhaustion of summer was over. It's cozier.

When I stood up, I swayed a bit, then clawed my way to the shower. I stepped under the wimpy, water-saving shower-head and turned it on hot. As the water streamed down on my head, I closed my eyes and leaned against the shower wall, shivering with headachy delight. Then something shifted almost imperceptibly, and suddenly I could hear each and every drop of water, feel each sliding rivulet on my skin, each tiny hair on my arms being weighted down by wetness. I opened my eyes and breathed in the steamy air, feeling my headache drain away. I stayed there, seeing the universe in my shower, until I heard Mary K. banging on the door.

"I'll be out in a minute!" I yelled impatiently.

Fifteen minutes later I slid into the backseat of my dad's Volvo, my wet hair sleeked into a long braid and making a damp patch on the back of my dress. I struggled into my jacket.

"What time did you go to bed, Spencer? Didn't you get enough sleep last night?" my mom asked brightly. Everyone in my family except me is obnoxiously cheerful in the morning.

"I never get enough sleep." I moaned.

"Isn't it a beautiful morning?" my dad said. "When I got up, it was barely light. I drank my coffee on the back porch and watched the sun come up."

I popped the top off a Diet Coke and took a life-giving sip. My mom turned around and made a mom face. "Honey, you should drink some orange juice in the morning."

"My dad chuckled. "That's our night owl."

"I'm a night owl, and they're larks. I drank my soda, trying to swig it all down before we got to church. I thought about how lucky my parents are to have Mary K. because otherwise it would seem as if _both_ of their children were total aliens. And then I thought how lucky they are to have _me _so that they'll really appreciate Mary K. And then I thought how lucky I am to have _them_ because I know they love me even though I'm so different from the three of them.

Our church is beautiful and almost 250 years old. It was one of the first Catholic churches in this area. The organist, Mrs. Lavender, was already playing when we walked in, and as the smells of incense were as familiar and comforting to me as the smell of our laundry detergent.

As I passed through the hue wooden doors, the numbers 117, 45, and 89 entered my mind, as if someone had drawn them on the inside of my forehead. How weird, I thought. We sat down in our usual pew, with my mom between Mary K. and me so we wouldn't cut up, even though we're so old now that we wouldn't cut up, anyway. We know about everyone that goes to our church, and I liked seeing them every week, seeing them change, feeling like pat of something bigger than just my family.

Mrs. Lavender began to play the first hymn, and we stood up as the processional trailed in, the altar boys and the choir, Father Hotchkiss and Deacon Benes, Joey Markovich carrying the heavy gold cross.

Mom opened her hymnal and began flipping pages. I glanced at the hymn board at the front of the church to see what number we should be on, The first number was 117. I glanced at the next number-45. Followed by 89. The same three numbers that popped into my brain as I first entered the church. I turned to the correct page and began singing, wondering how I had known those numbers.

That Sunday, Father Hotchkiss gave a sermon in which he equated one's spiritual struggle with a football game. Father Hotchkiss is very big on football.

After church we stepped out in the bright sunlight again, and I blinked.

"Lunch at the Widow's Diner?" said dad, as usual, and we all agreed, as usual. It was just another Sunday, except that for some reason I had known the numbers of the three hymns we would sing before I had seen them.


End file.
